It's becoming difficult for me eating so much here and watching myself gain weight, but I'm leaving Friday and can go to London and eat much smaller portions, and then return to the US and eat whatever I want.
Something that's been hard for me to come to terms with is that what my body looks like does not necessarily correlate to my athleticism. I comfortably ran 10 miles Friday which is half marathon territory and I just decided that I want to train for a marathon. I am not out of shape. I've definitely lost a little muscle in my core from not doing any strength training, but being able to run for an hour and a half is nothing to sneeze at. Endurance wise, I'm in excellent shape.
On the other hand, I've gained about ten pounds here, meaning I'm heavier than I have ever been, and I feel like I don't look like an athlete anymore. It's a very weird balance between how I feel and how I see myself versus how I wonder other people see me, and I know I shouldn't care but inside I very much do. I think part of the problem is that the food I'm eating is delicious, but doesn't make me feel clean or healthy. My host mom presents me with a giant bowl of rice for dinner and then two pieces or focaccia. It's very heavy and I'm not benefitting my body. I'm very much looking forward to getting back and eating food that makes me feel good about myself.
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